Mind on a break

trying to process through some things, but it always comes down to this:

Luckily, I'm not too bright.

I know it's over...

Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head

And as I climb into an empty bed

Oh well. Enough said.

I know it's over - still I cling

I don't know where else I can go

Oh ...

Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head

See, the sea wants to take me

The knife wants to slit me

Do you think you can help me?

Sad veiled bride, please be happy

Handsome groom, give her room

Loud, loutish lover, treat her kindly

(Though she needs you

More than she loves you)

And I know it's over - still I cling

I don't know where else I can go

Over and over and over and over

Over and over, la...

I know it's over

And it never really began

But in my heart it was so real

And you even spoke to me, and said:

"If you're so funny,

Then why are you on your own tonight?

And if you're so clever,

Then why are you on your own tonight?

If you're so very entertaining,

Then why are you on your own tonight?

If you're so very good-looking,

Why do you sleep alone tonight?

I know...

'Cause tonight is just like any other night

That's why you're on your own tonight

With your triumphs and your charms

While they're in each other's arms..."

It's so easy to laugh

It's so easy to hate

It takes strength to be gentle and kind

Over, over, over, over

It's so easy to laugh

It's so easy to hate

It takes guts to be gentle and kind

Over, over

Love is Natural and Real

But not for you, my love

Not tonight, my love

Love is Natural and Real

But not for such as you and I, my love

Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head

Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head

Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head

Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my ...

Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head

Oh Mother, I can even feel the soil falling over my head

Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head

Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my ...

New year's day

And this is how I came into the new year.

I'm ready for it.

deleted blog

I've never deleted a blog before...

Perhaps if you squint real hard, you will see the e-trails it left behind.

Since you all know how I feel (really - you know you do), I'm sure whatever you see in the electronic residue will leave you warm.

And yes, just in case, "I love you."

And the image just appeared...like a miracle

Some people see Jesus, some people see the virgin (eh-hem) Mary, I see smiley faces... On my Bananas. Of course internet was down all day due to the flooding in sacto and why does work internet come from there? It's stupid, but I have new pills and smiley faces in my bananas... I'll take it as sign of good things to come.

All Cleaned up and Pretty

All cleaned up and pretty for new year's eve.

Although I realize it's really just another day (night), I want to go into it fresh and clean. And with a smile on my face.

Ouch

Yes, bottles of wine are too big because their bottoms sneak up on you when they are so good. A bottle of Jack, for instance, will rarely surprise you with his bottom (at least when you are alone with him).

So a slow start this morning - much work to do - but few people here in the office to get in my way.

Lovely tarot reading for this morning (hence, "ouch")

dreams - interupted

"chirp-chirp" 7:15
who would text me so early
and eyes wide open
heart beating fast
leaping out of bed
only one person
but it was a dream
there's no message
slip back into sleep
hey-hey
touch on my cheek
slight pressure on my shoulder
whisper in my ear
I'm taking you out for breakfast
wrap my arms around his waist
bury my face in his belly
inhale his scent
swoosh - buzz
television turns on
automatic alarm
happiness floods my face
just a dream-10:15 am

bottles of wine are too big

So I got four bottles of wine for April and Stephen for their visit not knowing what they are drinking these days and thinking beer not good enough (but of course having it around). They didn't pop a cork. I have to say, I love new Zealand wines - they have a crispness and fruitiness that reminds me of what wine should taste like. And also, I was a huge wine fag back in the day, always knowing what wine goes with what, but I don't think I ever enjoyed it until the current batch of wines from new Zealand and Australia. So last night I opened a bottle of nobilio sauvignon blanc - so light! so fresh! before I knew it the bottle was empty!
And lovely Guy showed up unexpectantly so that we could have conversations of otherworldly creatures (ourselves) and how someday someone will understand how living in your world hurts us. I admit, Guy is further off than I am, but yes both made only for and to love - everything else (yes, so many great things) only in preparation for the day we are accepted.

Chevalier de la table ronde
Goutons voir si le vin est bon
Goutons voir si le vin est bon
Goutons voir oui oui oui,
Goutons voir non non non,
Goutons voir si le vin est bon
S'il est bon s'il est agreable,
J'en boirai jusqu'a mon plaisir
J'en boirai oui
J'en boirai cinq ou six bouteilles,
Et une femme sur mes genoux
Toc toc toc.
Qui frappe a la porte?
Je crois bien, ca c'est son mari
Si je meurs,
je veux qu'on m'enterre
Dans une cave ou il y a du bon vin.
Les deux pieds contre la muraille,
Et la tete sous le robinet.
Sur ma tombe je veux qu'on ecrive
Ice Git le roi des buveurs.